I'll Stand by you
by mumfordandshannon
Summary: What if Cato had volunteered the year earlier and won? Lilly promised to be with him always but has he changed to much? All the anger, all the hurt I had felt towards him vanished from my body. I just wanted him to feel safe. I wanted him to know that he wasn't alone: that I would protect him. First ever fanfic. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

I waited patiently. The sun was setting. He should be here by now. He should be in my arms. I began to fidget nervously, without noticing I began to run my fingers through my hair.

"Hey. He'll be here. Calm down." my mother said wrapping her arms around me, pulling me into a soft embrace. The comforting smell of vanilla and lavender filled my nostrils: soothing me. It was the same smell that had comforted me for the past two weeks. My mind began to wander back to the day of the "The Reaping."

_"Come on sleepy head, you don't want the Panem seeing you looking like you've been dragged through a bush" he said poking me in the ribs._

_I grunted- he knew fine well what the day entailed and he expected me to get all dolled up. This was possibly the last day we would be together. He must of read my mind as next thing I knew his arms pulled me on to his knee, he head nuzzled in to mine. I fought back the tears that were threatening to come as I inhaled his scent. Cinnamon, with a dash of mint. I felt his warm breath on the top of my head. It was steady, suggesting he was not taking this as badly as I was._

_"Lilly, I don't want the full of Panem thinking I go out with some form of dog who can't control it's emotions, get your act together."_

_His harsh words stung: I knew he was just protecting himself. I looked up at him tracing the outline of his jaw with my finger. I crashed my lips against his forcefully. I stood. I didn't speak: not wanting to disappoint him with the waver of my voice. I pulled my dress out the cupboard and went to the bathroom._

_I showered quickly, letting the warm water mix with my tears. I had to get them out now, if Cato saw them he'd be so pissed. He kept telling me that this wasn't about me. That I had no right to be upset. If anything I should be proud. I allowed one more tear to slide down my cheek before stepping out the shower._

_"Time to look pretty" I said to myself looking in the mirror. I began to blow-dry my long brown locks in to gentle waves. It wasn't perfect like Mum could get it but it would do. I quickly pulled my new dress for reaping day over my head. The pale pink of the dress brought out the blueness of my eyes making me resemble somewhat of a baby doll. I left the bathroom and made my way back to my room._

_"There you are. I was beginning to the think the drain had sucked you away from me. You look stunning" Cato said wrapping his arms around my waist. "What time is it?"_

_"We have half an hour before we need to make our way down to the square" I said unable to hold eye contact._

_"Plenty of time." He scooped me up bridal style, dumping me on the bed, before lying beside me. His warm lips brushed against mine. His arms pulling me closer to him. I draped my arms tightly around his neck afraid to let go. He made his way to my neck, his hand sliding up my thigh._

_"No" the whimper was out my mouth before I had time to stop it. "No. Not today. If I make you wait, you have more to come home for"_

_He sat up looking at me. "You drive a hard bargain Lilly." He leaned down kissing my forehead before once again brushing his lips against mine._

That had been the last time I'd kissed him. The last time I'd felt his warm breath against my skin. I thought it would be the last ever. He had forbid me from coming to see him in the Justice Building. Forbid me to cry when he went on stage. Forbid me to so much as whimper. As his hand was raised I could feel all the Districts eyes on me. Waiting for a reaction. I had kept his promise, I had done him proud. Well at least until I had gotten home. I can't remember how many days had passed before I emerged from my room. In there his memory was safe. We were safe. My hear sunk as I remembered the reaping.  
"Welcome to the reaping for the 73rd annual hunger games."

_Spark stood there, her stupid hair bobbing up and down every time she moved her head. Her stupid shrill voice ringing like an alarm that would never just shut-the-hell-up. Her stupid face which was about to take my boy away from me. Stupid. My eyes focused forward refusing to even so much glance over at Cato's section._

_"Now before we begin, lets remind ourselves why we are here. A video, all the way from the lucky lot"_

**_"War, terrible war. Widows, orphans, a motherless child. This was the uprising that rocked our land. Thirteen districts rebelled against the country that fed them, loved them, protected them. Brother turned on brother until nothing remained. And then came the peace, hard fought, sorely won. A people rose up from the ashes and a new era was born. But freedom has a cost. When the traitors were defeated, we swore as a nation we would never know this treason again. And so it was decreed, that each year, the various districts of Panem would offer up in tribute, one young man and woman, to fight to the death in a pageant of honor, courage and sacrifice. The lone victor, bathed in riches, would serve as a reminder of our generosity and our forgiveness. This is how we remember our past. This is how we safeguard our future."_**

_God I could practically recite the thing after six years of having to watch it over and over again. Each time Spark getting sickly happy at the sight of the wreck and destruction left. That woman really had to get her head seen to._

_"Now let us start with the girls." I had no idea why the even bothered picking the piece of paper out of those bowls in this district. Every year the academy picked a boy and girl who were told to volunteer. Believing they could win. It was meant to have been me, but after the trauma of the past two years the academy took an unlikely sympathetic view on me and allowed me this year._

_"And district two's female tribute is Hawaitte…"_

_The name was barely out sparks mouth when another voice rang through the air_

_"I volunteer as a female tribute." The girls said making her way towards the path._

_I recognised her. She hadn't been the one the academy selected. Christ, was she going to get in trouble for this. She was maybe only about 14, her older brother had been the year above me at school. She was tiny but it gave her the same advantage it gave me. She could move fast and was misjudged, I'd seen her fight. As she reached the stage Spark seemed to be misjudging her for herself her eyes taking in the girls height._

_"Of course you do dear. And your name please, nice and loud so everyone can here"_

_"Crystal Mortemier"_

_"Lovely, now shall we move on the gentlemen? I think so" Her hand fished around for a name, before she finally selected one, she was just opening the paper when Cato made his way forwards. I chanced a sideway glance_

_"I volunteer as a tribute"_

_He made his way up to the stage, Sparks face seemed furious that he hadn't even allowed her time to read the chosen name- "Yes. And your name is?"_

_"Cato. Cato Hardy"_

I had never wanted him to go. We'd trained together and yeah sure he stood a good chance of winning. But he was cocky when fighting, and misjudged his competition. I didn't want to loose him. We'd been partners for years.

_"You two pair up" the instructor yelled, causing me to flinch slightly._

_"If that scared you , Shorty, then this will be more like a warm up" he drawled in my ear_

_I was small for my age, luckily for me this meant many of my competitors misjudged my ability. I grabbed the wooden sword from the side, taking my stance to fight._

_"Ok, Pretty Boy, lets see what you got" I said mimicking the tone he had used._

_My face lit up at his expression. It was mixed with pure anger and amusement. Clearly this boy was not used to being challenged in such a manner. He grabbed his weapon, and did a slight bow. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my throat. This boy was stupid enough to bow! If this was the games his head would be off by now. I arched an eyebrow, daring him to make the first move. He came charging at me, his sword swinging._

_I stepped quickly to the left, ducking behind him._

_"Over here silly" I said in the most girly voice I could. "You wouldn't have had that problem if you could remove your eyes from my chest."_

_The boys jaw dropped open, I took my chance using his surprise to my benefit. I swung my sword swiping at his feet. He fell to the ground. I pointed my sword at his throat._

_"And boom, there goes the cannon" I smiled, leaning down and extending a hand the stricken boy._

_"My name is Lilly. And in the arena I'll be you're biggest nightmare"_

We'd be inseparable ever since that day five years ago. I don't know why he found me after that day. He said it was to, and I quote, teach me a lesson. But that was just him, until you got through the tough outer. Inside he was a big marshmallow. Or he had been. The soft rumbling began to fill my ears, snapping me out of my peaceful memories.

"Are you ready Lilly?" my mum asked resting her hand on my shoulder

I nodded silently. The train halted in front of me. I felt my heart beating faster. I felt the air leave my lungs. Why was I this scared? The doors opened. That's when I saw him. About three feet away from me. Neither of us moved. We just stood there looking into each others eyes.

"Hey" he murmured finally breaking eye contact.

"Hey Cato" I said.


	2. Chapter 2

Both of us stood. Just looking at each other. Our eyes filled with desire. I couldn't stand not touching him anymore. I ran at him full speed. He saw what was coming and dropped the bag that had been slung over his shoulder. I wrapped my arms round his waist, resting my head against his chest. The tears that had been threatening to come all day escaped me. I felt his lips press against my head. The smell of cinnamon and mint filling my nostrils reassured me that this was real. Not just another of my dreams.

"Pull yourself together, Silly. I'm back now. Crowned and victorious" He laughed, but something about his tone was off. I looked up. His once warm eyes looked different and he didn't make direct eye-contact with me. He's probably just tired I thought. Give the guy a break, he's just fought to the death. Nearly died. And lost one of his friends. He lifted me up spinning me round. Before looking at the slightly deserted platform. I felt his muscles tense up around my waist.

"Where's my mum and dad? He asked, making eye contact for the first time "Didn't have time to come see their victor son? Nice to know nothings changed."

I gasped shocked. Yes, his family did leave a lot of room for improvement. They were very conservative. Emotion or displayed affection was seen as a flaw. I linked my hand with his giving him a reassuring squeeze "Their just fixing up the house for the party. They thought you deserved to have some fun."

He didn't say anything, just stared at my mum. His face looked almost grave, his eyes hollow. I wonder what he was thinking. I squeezed his hand brining him back to reality. He smiled gently and brought my hand to his lips. We walked towards the car. As we took off there was an uneasy tension.

"You got the house you picked, Cato. Isn't that a coincidence. Right next to the academy. Haha! Don't be surprised if I pop round expecting you to feed me while I'm on lunch. And your just the next street up from us, isn't that nice." I blabbered.

My pointless stories and unfunny jokes lasted until we got to the Victors Village. Cato not even as much as glancing in my direction. I studied his face. If you hadn't have saw him in the games you'd think Cato had just been on holiday. He didn't have so much as a scar. The only thing different was his eyes. They were darker. He had bags under them, as if he had never slept. His face looked as though he was far off in the distance. I raised my hand to touch his cheek.

"Hey, your home now. No more ok? You and me bud, we're the same. No sympathy remember" I said looking at him right in the eyes.

He nodded slowly. His lips crashed into mine. This kiss was harder and more fiery than ever before. I felt like my mouth was being punched over and over again. I lightly pushed him off, glancing at my mum, who pretended she had been to engrossed in her book to notice. He smiled at me, and that's when I thought everything was going to be ok.

The party was in full swing by the time it reached half nine. Nearly everyone from the Academy had came to congratulate Cato. The Hero. Each pupil kept asking about each kill. For the tenth time Cato ran his hand through his hair as his peers repeated his "victory". I watched him from across the room. Was the his 10th beer? I'd never seen him drink as much. His face appeared tense and his arms rested over his chest in a defensive manner. I went over and placed a hand on Cato's shoulder.

"I loved it when you broke the guy from six's neck with your bare hands. What was your favourite bit, Lilly"

I looked at the boy, pondering whether or not to tell him the truth. I decided it would be for the best in case I slipped up. "I didn't watch them" I rested on the arm of the couch next to Cato. He grunted slightly as my hip hit against his shoulder and my hand rubbing his head.

I leaned in kissing his cheek before bringing my mouth up to his ear "I'll meet you upstairs in twenty minutes" He looked at me. His eyes lighting up ever so slightly but not as much as I had hoped for. I hopped of the arm of the chair making my way up the stairs. I found his room turning on the lights I sat on his bed. Gosh it was so comfy- and I was tired. I'd hardly slept for the past few weeks. Maybe if I just rest my eyes for two minutes. I lay my head on the pillow taking in it scent. I drifted into the most comforting sleep I ever had.

The bedroom door banging is what caused me to wake up. Cato stood looking at me. Using the wall to hold himself up. I glanced at the clock. Two hours had passed.

"You should of woke me" I said smiling, sitting up on the bed.

"I didn't come up" was all he said. He tried to walk forward stumbling. I rushed to my feet allowing him to drape his arm around me.

"Lets get you to bed sweetie." I moved towards the bed, Cato refused to move.

"You can't tell me what to do, you little whore"

I gasped staring at him. I recomposed myself. Its okay. He's drunk, it's been a long day. It was probably a joke that came out in the wrong tone. No need to worry.

"Are you ok, Sweetie" I said leaning my hand on his shoulder.

"Perfectly fine" he slurred

"Cato. Look at me. I know when your lying. I know you to well"

Before I knew what was happening Cato's hands were around my throat, pinning me to the wall. His teeth were gritted, his eyes never leaving mine.

"How do you know me? Eh Lilly? I bet you couldn't have imagined me snapping the neck of twelve year old boy. Or stabbing the life out of a screaming girl. You know she reminded me of you. She put up a good fight, but in the end she was all talk. How do you know that your darling boyfriend wasn't just using you till the fame came along? I've killed Lilly. And do you know something I enjoyed stabbing the life out the guy from 4. I liked the power. And now I'm back. Listening to whiney bitches like you telling me to man up. Is this man enough for you Lilly?"

I would be lying if I was to say I wasn't afraid. I would be lying to say that my body wasn't shaking. But I'd dealt with a similar situation before. I knew how important it was to stay calm.

"Cato. Listen to me. Let me go. You're hurting me" I said, the waver apparent in my voice.

"Oh gosh. Maybe I should have had my fun with 1. At least she had some spunk. Look at you. You're pathetic." he slurred the grip he had on my neck tightening.

I could feel my airways restricting. Enough was enough. I'd tried the diplomatic way, now it was time for my way. He'd stupidly positioned himself with his legs parted, I raided my knee up, hurting him in his most vulnerable place before kicking him to the ground. I straddled over his chest, grabbing his face forcing him to look at me. Any other time, he could have took me, but the effect of the alcohol was working to my benefit. He laughed when I looked at him

"What you going to do now princess? Kill me"

"You're right, Cato. I don't know you. I don't want to know you. So how does this sound for a deal, you can fuck off out my life and I'll accept your nothing more than a Pretty Boy who's found his fifteen minutes of fame." I said, shocked at my own steadiness " Oh and 4 nearly kicked your ass, so don't pretend your some super hero. "

With that I left the room. Running downstairs. Out into the street. Tears streaming my face. My Cato wasn't home. And he wasn't coming home.


	3. Chapter 3

I rushed my hair into a quick bun and shoved on my Academy gear. It was time for extra training. I'd lost my touch over the past few weeks- probably from all the worrying. But the old Lilly was back. And nothing was going to stop me from reaching the top of my year. It had been four days since the encounter with Cato. I knew this because I now had four bouquets of flowers lying in my room with some soppy apology note attached them. For the tough guy he portrayed himself as, he really was awful when it came to things like this.

As I jogged to the Academy my mind couldn't help but wander back to four nights ago. There had been venom in Cato's eyes that I had never seen before. Even when we had had arguments before he'd never gotten that angry. He'd never hurt me. This was a side I'd never seen. A side I would be happy never seeing again. Just like his idiotic face. I mean who did he think he was?

I reached the Academy angry enough to have killed all 23 tributes myself within ten seconds. This was going to be one hell of a training session. I picked up the knives. The dummies at least 30feet away. One by one my pretend Cato's were stabbed in the chest, the face and the neck.

"That'll show you!" I murmured to myself

"I hope that's not my face you're imaging" came a voice from behind me

I spun round knife still in hand, ready for whatever attack was about to come. That is when I realised who it was. My grip tightened round the knife.

"Can we talk? You know, without the pointy weapons" he asked, raising his hands as if to surrender.

"I don't know. I kind of like my neck without handprint marks around it" I spat, my voice full of hate

"That's not fair. I've apologised. I admitted things got out of hand. I was just…. Stressed" he said looking down at the ground.

He looked so different. Like a little boy apologising to his mum for stealing a sweet before dinner. He looked weak.

"And I don't recall accepting the apology. Now if you don't mind" I said placing the knife down and heading towards the changing room. He grabbed my wrist and turned me to face him. A slight expression of fear came over me. To the unknowing eye it would have appeared like nothing. But he knew me too well. He could spot a change in my face no matter how short a period the expression had been there for.

"No. No Lilly. Oh Lilly. Please don't be scared of me. Please Lilly. You know me. I'd never hurt you. Oh, what have I done" he whimpered, his face resembling that of a wounded animal. Or tribute.

"That's normally what happens when you nearly kill someone, Cato. They become scared of you. And I don't recall you having a problem with hurting me the other night. However you're right. I'd like to think I knew. You have a minute to tell me why I shouldn't drive a knife through your sorry ass…. Shoot" I snarled.

Part of me was screaming at me to get out. This boy was a cold hearted killer, he'd took joy in killing in the hunger games. He'd to joy in hurting me the other night. The other half of me saw something that I'd never saw in the boy that I claimed to know so well. Something that looked a lot like pain and suffering.

"I won't lay a finger on you again, Lilly. I don't know what came over me. It's like my body is out of the game. But my mind, my minds still in it. I get angry and I forget that I can't just kill off someone who annoys me or pisses me off at that moment. I've forgotten that out here, in reality, I'm not fighting for survival. I forget that you're not my enemy. That you're the one who helped me train. Who stood by me, even when you disagreed with what I was doing. You're the one that watched me kill person after person and still came to stand by me after it." Cato strained, not breaking eye contact.

I looked at this broken man. A man who at one point I believed nothing could break. I could feel the lump growing in my throat. This was the Cato that Panem had to see. They had to see the consequences of Capitols games. That even the toughest end up broken or damaged. I longed to just hug him. To just hold him close. For some reason I couldn't move towards him. I don't know how but he must have been reading my mind: next thing I knew I was engulfed in his arms. And that's when I knew he'd broke. The first whimper that escaped him was quite and stifled, but after that he just allowed them to flow out. Each one growing louder and louder.

"Shh. Shh. Sweetie, it's ok. I'm here. I'm here for you" I soothed, stroking his head. All the anger, all the hurt I had felt towards him vanished from my body. I just wanted him to feel safe. I wanted him to know that he wasn't alone: that I would protect him.


	4. Chapter 4

"What do you mean your moving in with him?"

"Mum this is just something I've got to do. He needs someone who's going to be there with him. He needs me Mum. I don't expect you to understand…" I moaned flinging my clothes into a bag

"Understand? Don't you forget that…" She said moving ever closer to me

"I'm well aware Mum," I said turning round to face her, the top layer of her eyes appeared angry and full of hate but underneath I could see sadness and fear "I'll only be round the corner, I'm not leaving you for good Mum. It's just something I've got to do. Out of all the people you should be the last to stop me from what love needs me to do."

My Mum sat down on my bed, patting the space next to her to sit down. I rested my head on her shoulder as she soothed my hair, "Your so young Lilly, yet so mature. The games the change people. I don't want you being a victim of them as well as him"

"I'm all grown up Mum, I don't need protection anymore." I murmured. I hated these talks, I hated the idea of being protected.

"I know sweetie… I'll help you pack" she sighed, refolding all my clothes that had been left in a heap.

I stood in the middle of Cato's hallway, two heavy bags in hand.

"Hello? Cato the front door was open! Cato?" I listened for any sound of movement before dropping my bags and making my way upstairs. Heck, he was the strong one, he could carry the bags. I reached of the top of the stairs and that's when the stench hit me. Not now. Of all times. My mum was coming round with the last of my stuff in five minutes. I pushed open the door of Cato's bedroom. The smell of whiskey and rum hit my nose. Cato lay slumped over in a heap surrounded by what appeared to be empty bottles and vomit. It was to be expected. He had a couple of good days and then a really bad one. It was how he worked. I walked over, holding down the bile as I examined the mess. Bending over I rested my hand on his shoulder. His eyes snapped open

"You won't fucking kill me 3!" he screamed diving and tackling me to floor. I pushed off the majority of his punches. His eyes were wild yet empty.

"Cato! Cato! It's Lilly. It's all over sweetie." I screamed. I let out a groan as his fist made another collision with my jaw. Panic ran through my head. What if I couldn't get him to stop this time. This was the most intoxicated he'd been. These thoughts were interrupted by the horrified shriek my mum let out.

"You get your hands off my daughter you bastard." She yelled dragging Cato's body off me. He looked up to her, realisation hitting his eyes.

"Lilly.. Lilly am so sorry" Tears ran down my heroes face, his eyes filled only with regret and sadness.

I didn't have time to answer before my mum dragged him up "We're going to get you cleaned up and have a chat downstairs." She glared at me "Lilly unpack your things, I will call you when I'm ready to speak with you". And just like that they were gone.

I spent what felt like forever moving the stuff my mum had brought from the bag into the drawer. I was nearly done when I felt the sharp corner of the frame on my finger. I pulled out and studied the picture. I was there only fifteen at the time, so young and innocent. My arms draped around Cato's neck as he carried me on his back… smiling. Both of us smiling. It had been my Mum's annual reaping night BBQ.

_The smell of freshly cut grass, and cooking meat filled my nostrils. My hand was entwined with my new boyfriends. I could tell all the other girls were jealous. I'd got him and they hadn't. "I'll race you the old oak" Cato teased "I'll even give you a ten second head start"_

_I laughed "See you in twenty minutes lover boy" I took off. Dashing in and out of important guests of my Mothers. I could hear him behind me laughing "You'll need to better than that if you want to outrun me in the arena" I ignored his comment building up my pace. I reached the old oak not long before Cato._

_"Two out of three" Cato said raising his eyebrow, placing his strong hands on my waist. I looked at him, dead in the eye_  
_"What did you say about out running you in the arena" I barked _  
_He looked at me shocked and confused his hands falling from my hips, I realised how harshly I had been looking at him and a softened my gaze _  
_"I never want to have to kill you Cato. Promise me that you won't volunteer if I'm reaped. And I wont if your reaped." I said my voice steady and calm_  
_His arms slinked round me, his forehead resting on mine "Only if you promise to stand by me. And stay alive"_  
_"I promise" I said leaning in so our mouths were a moment away from each other._

My thoughts were interrupted from a large bang downstairs. I ran down before I heard my mum shouting. I waited in the middle of the stairs listening to their conversation.

"Why didn't you tell me!" Cato raged, I could hear the venom in his voice and became genuinely worried for my mums safety.

"Tell you what exactly, that regardless of whether or not you won these games your life is over. Regardless of how ok you think you are their faces are going to haunt you. Fucking hell, what do they teach you at the Academy. My Hiedis was never the same when he came out, it drove him loopy. He killed another two after the arena before he took his life. How do I tell a 17 year old boy that without fucking him up before the games."

"You could have warned her. You could have kept her away from the monster I'm becoming. Every bruise she gets is because of me. And I enjoy it. I get a thrill…" Cato's voice was weaker but it still leaked venom.

I couldn't take it anymore the shouting continued as I made my way to the living room door, I twisted the handle the rage building up inside me, I walked in neither of them noticing. I picked up the lamp on the side table and dropped it to the ground. "Enough" I yelled. Both of them looked at me as if I was the one who had lost their mind.

"Doesn't anyone want to hear what I think?" I asked looking them dead in the eye "I think that Cato isn't Heidis. I think he can get through this Mum and that's something your just going to have to trust. As for you Cato, every bruise you give me isn't because of you. It's because of those games. I know somewhere in there is the Cato who I know and love and that is why I am here. Now Mum I love you but you need to leave just now so I can fix the house up and speak to Cato alone"

"But Lilly Swettie, it's not safe here"

"Mum, Now" I glared at her, folding my arms tightly over my chest. She moved towards the door stopping to look back at me and Cato. I did my best to give her a reassuring smile before she left. When I heard the front door click, I took my place on the couch next to Cato. He didn't even look at me.

"Why are you here" His voice lacked any emotion, his eyes empty

"Because I love you, Cato. And because a stupid fifteen year old girl promised to stand by you."


	5. Chapter 5

**Cato's POV.**

I heard the bath running as I lay in bed. I'd just awoken from one of those dreadful nightmares. They'd just started to ease but with the victory tour just around the corner they'd came back with a vengeance. It was the girl from six. I watched as the blood poured out of her staining my sword, I heard my laugh. I sounded weird. Like a villain. Lilly kept telling me I hadn't killed them: it was the games that killed them. Maybe so. But the games hadn't tortured them. Hadn't dragged out their death for as long as possible. I'd done that. And for what? A couple of parachutes from sponsors who wanted to be entertained again. Lilly hadn't seen my games. Maybe that's why she was still here. I heard a slight whimper coming from the bathroom. Oh god no. Please tell me I didn't do it again.

I stood up from the bed preparing myself for the worst. I made my way to the bathroom door before knocking.

"Come on in, darling" Lilly said in her usual chirpy voice. She was far to happy for someone who got beaten up off their psychotic boyfriend every time he has a bad day. I entered, cringing as I saw her blue and black body. I closed the door, looking at her. I was scared to go near her in case I hurt her more. She turned around and looked at me. Despite the bruising she still looked beautiful standing there in her underwear.

"Care to join me?" she asked wiggling her eyebrows

I looked at her. She was so strong, but somewhere behind that fake smile, I knew she was breaking trying to fix me.

"Lilly- you… I… I didn't… You know… Maybe you should go home" I stuttered trying to think of the right way to say what I wanted.

"Trying to get rid of me? Sorry love it's going to take more than a few bruises to do that" she turned round shimmying out of her underware and stepping into the bath. I sat down on the floor looking at her as she held my gaze. "Your doing so well Cato. These bruises are just from the nightmares. It's been nearly two weeks since you flew off the handle. We're almost there."

I gave her a half hearted smile "I don't want to hurt you Lilly."

"Then you'll let me stay. It hurts me more when I'm not near to you" Lilly said turning her gaze away from me reaching for the soap. Then it came to me. A way to protect her.

"You can stay on one condition" I said, amazed at my own genius. She turned her attention back to me, raising an eyebrow "You watch my games, I want you to know what kind of person your still in love with."

"Cato, I've told you, that wasn't you in that arena" she stated strongly but her eyes broke contact. "Plus I didn't think I had to bargain to see my boyfriend."

"Do it for me"

She sighed, staring at me. It was like she was searching for something. An answer maybe? Or an explanation? "Fine."

**Lilly's POV.**

I sat on the couch staring at the TV while Cato rummaged through the tapes attempting to find the one he was looking for. The house had been weirdly quite ever since Cato flung his parents out in one of his rages. It hadn't helped when his father had told him to man up and stop being such a pussy. I fiddled nervously with my thumbs. I was ok to watch the games- the only reason I hadn't was out of fear something would happen to Cato. But would he be ok? Would it be helpful for him to see it there in front of him again but not living it?

"Cato? Are you sure you want to watch them. I'll phone Kain and get him to come watch them with me if you want"

"No. I want to watch them with you" he answered bluntly. He found the tape and inserted it into the player. He sat down on the couch next to me and I scooted in closer allowing him to drape his arm carelessly around my shoulder. I winced as his arm put some pressure on my bruises. He glanced down at me, guilt written all over his face. I smiled moving in closer to him. I had to reassure him everything would be alright.

The capitol anthem began to play and the words "**VICTOR OF THE 73RD HUNGER GAMES. BEST MOMENTS OF CATO HARDY**" were displayed on the screen. I hadn't seen one bit of these games. Unlike most of district two I found them absolutely barbaric. Children killing children. And for what? To come home like Cato. A shell. My Mum had tried to warn me and Hiedis as kids. I'd took somewhat notice whereas my elder bother seemed to turn a deaf ear. And look what happened to him. Ever since then both me and my mother had avoided even watching the interviews for the games. Although she did pretty well at painting the façade of being a capitol-adoring socialite. I just learned how to bite my tongue and smile.

_"Ladies and Gentlemen please give a warm Capitol welcome to the handsome hunk from district two- it's Cato" Caesar said grinning wildly at the camera_

That's when he walked on, My Cato. Not the one I am with now. But the one I had before these games. I smile as he winks at the camera.

_"How are you enjoying the Capitol, Cato"_

_"Well what's not to love Caesar? The showers, the people, those little parcels of chocolate. Oh gosh I'd kill for them. In fact if someone wanted to offer me 100 at the end of the games it would only take me a matter of minutes to win" There is a loud laugh from the crowd._

_"So your confident you'll win then?"_

_"Without a doubt" Cato answers back giving his trademark grin_

_"And finally the last question- the famous one- is there anyone special waiting at home for you?"_

_"A handful. No I'm joking- there isn't anyone Caesar I'm still waiting on the right girl to come along. Who knows maybe I'll find here here"_

My body tenses under Cato's arm, I can feel him stating at him. I stare at the TV pretending I didn't hear it, or that it didn't bother me. I try to digest what I just heard. Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe I am just here till he gets proper fame. He reaches for the remote, pausing the video.

"Lilly… Speak to me"

"Play the tape, Cato"

"It was just all about getting sponsors. That was all. Don't doubt for a minute that my loyalties ever left you"

"Play the fucking tape, Cato" I said through gritted teeth.

He pulled me in closer to him. Remembering this was all to help him I let him. He played the tape. It cut to the scene from the Corrnicoupia. Cato kills anything and everything that he can grab that's not the career alliance. Claiming himself to be leader, his full body covered in dead tributes blood. My stomach churns as I try to hold down the bile. He just snapped that girls neck with his bare hands! She was fourteen for Christ sake! "Now, Now Lilly," I calmed myself "If it wasn't for the actions he took Cato wouldn't be here today" I let out a sigh as I continue to watch Cato, bloodied and bruised on the screen.

The next clip was from the final battle. The boy from four was in a worse condition than Cato from the beginning. He'd took quite a beating off his last victim. They taunted each other, Cato made the first move. I winced as he missed and fours knife went into his arm, Cato cuddled me closer. They'd fought together through the full games and now they had to turn on each other. I squeezed his hand. Yes. He had killed these people. But he was paying the price. He had no choice, this was life or death. The screen turned black. Cato turned round to look at me. I braced myself to speak to him.

"If you thought you covered in mud was going to get rid of me. You thought wrong" I said with a smile, I could sense he was about to butt in "Yes, Cato. I saw you kill. I saw the gleam in your eye. I saw you have no mercy. But if you hadn't done that then you might not be sitting with me. And that's all I care about. That you're here. With me. Right now."

**Cato's POV**

She's crazy, completely bonkers. She'd saw me kill. I saw her when I snapped that girls neck. She'd boaked and moved slightly away from me. She'd been repulsed by me. But yet here she was. Promising to stand by me. God. I loved this girl but she didn't half like pain. I looked her. She appeared so happy, so innocent, everything I use to be.

I looked at her for the first real time since I'd been back. She looked older, as if she had matured while I wasn't looking. Her blue eyes appeared darker, like the sea when a storm is on approach. She was truly you beautiful. We were beauty and the beast. I pulled her onto my lap, tickling her sides. She laughed and giggled trying to get away from me. She squirmed so much I ended up on top of her. She stared up at me her lips slightly parted. We hadn't be intimate since I'd been back. I was always either in one of my nightmares or to scared to hurt her. I leaned in closing the gap between our lips. She reacted hungrily, grabbing my neck and pulling me in closer. Her tongue fought for dominance with mine, and the kiss quickly deepened. She nibbled on my bottom lip. I broke apart for a second, just admiring her, before moving my mouth down to her neck. I sucked and bit on the spot I knew all to well wound unravel her. A soft moan escaped her lips and Cato smirked into her neck. Her hands ran freely down his body, tugging at his t-shirt. She managed to remove it in one swift action, she made her way down his abs stopping just above his trousers. She undid the button…

Knock Knock

Who the hell could that be. They hadn't had visitors all week apart from Lilly's mum and she was working today. I growled slightly peeling myself from Lilly, I made my way to the front door. Lilly followed shortly behind, fixing her hair and bruised lips. I opened the door ready to explode.

"Well Hello there Mr Hardy, I hope I haven't come at a bad time" the man rang out in his Capitol accent casting a glance over at Lilly.

"Well, actually Sir, you kind of…" Cato began

"President Snow, would like to meet with you, Wednesday at 6pm. You will be leaving for the Capitol tomorrow at 9am. Have a wonderful day, Mr Hardy. Miss Jenkins"

And with that he was gone.


End file.
